Further Books on Motherhood

Fiction and non fiction surrounding Parenting.

I previously shared a post on books on motherhood which you can read here, I wanted to keep sharing more that I’ve read and what has resonated, inspired or just made me step back and think. Once I had birthed my babies and made it through the fourth trimester I then began reading more of a mixture of fiction and non fiction.

The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read by Philippa Perry, was a book that I read about a year before I fell pregnant. At the time a friend recommended that I reread it once I had my own child/ren as I would be able to see it in a different light. I think that this is a very interesting book, especially if you are holding onto any trauma or emotions to how you were raised. I think it has the ability to really help you understand and move forward with your own upbringing and how you consciously want to parent but it also has the ability to really further trigger and upset you. I found some elements of the book were setting up the reader to be able to catastrophise an argument or tantrum, which would be really stressful. I’m not sure if I plan to reread now I’m a mother. But I’ll never say never.

I was gifted (twice) Nobody told me by Holly McNish - I really enjoyed Holly’s work and poetry. Although at times I wallowed in self pity at how my experience compared to hers, I felt I had to work through a lot of my own personal feelings to feel sympathetic to someone, who (I felt) had a much easier experience than I. In hindsight I think that was the book that I needed to read, there are plenty of mothers that had an easier birth/newborn experience etc but still found it exhausting, hard and isolating and that’s ok. I think I really learnt a lot about empathy. Her experience is very relatable in many ways. I’ve also bought this book for other new mothers. I really enjoyed that it is a book that can be dipped in and out of. You can read the poems and leave the chapters until another time.

I read The School for Good Mothers which is the perfect satirical novel. Really focusing on societies expectations on women/mothers as well as the difference that is put on mothers than fathers.

Frida, a very tired mother makes a mistake. She makes a bad call and ends up in a corrections facility in the hopes to not lose custody or contact with her daughter Harriet. She is surrounded by other mothers who in her opinion actually were bad mothers and made bad choices, when hers, was just a one time mistake.

This was a very funny and thought provoking book. I loved the sense of humour which was dark and satirical. The clear message of Dad’s being treated different to Mum’s as well as a very well delivered plot.

Solider Sailor was a book on m TBR for months, but I held off reading whilst I was pregnant until I was past the fourth trimester. Solider Sailor is a raw and poetic novel following a mother Solider during the early days of motherhood with her child Sailor. It is chaotic, gentle and at times frustrating reading Solider’s thoughts and feelings whilst being so tied down to motherhood.

She speaks openly about her frustrations of having to do everything for her child whilst her husband becomes more and more distant. Her identity changes where as his stays almost the same. I did find the useless dad a bit predictable, I do find it really hard to connect and sympathies with mothers who don’t let the fathers find their feet with their children. But then proceed to complain about how the fathers get to live life unchanged.

There was a moment in the book that was almost identical to when my husband and I stood in Ikea with a toddler buying a new bed. My experience was slightly different to how hers panned out, but it was solidifying to know that nothing we experience is unique or different. So many parents have stood before the bed explaining to a toddler, yes we are getting you a bed, but no, we are not getting you this exact bed and managing that tantrum. I really loved this book, the ending had me in floods of tears.

Finally and most recently I read The Nursery this is a very similar book to Solider Sailor, it follows a new mother living in a small New York apartment struggling to care for a young child as well as themselves.

It is raw and heartbreaking and extremely relatable to what a new mother experiences and feels to her core during those first few weeks and months. it is a very short and compact book which I think it needs to be as it focuses on such a short time period.

I’m glad I didn’t read this during my newborn days, it was a very emotional read and for a new mother I think possibly too close to home. Molnar does an extremely good job of bringing such a universal experience that feels unique in writing.

I also discovered this article which features some of the same books that I’ve spoken about and more.

Now that I’m bumbling my way into toddlerhood I feel there is more room to read, and think about child development. So if you have any books you would like to recommend then please send them my way!